Divided We Fall
by Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet
Summary: He killed him...the King Fisher. He avenged his mother. Unfortunately, the hollow got him too. Now he wanders as a whole to stay with his family, but when he turns up missing, how far will everyone go to find him? AU Hiatus
1. Prologue

The city had long since fallen into quiet, like it normally did in the early hours of the morning. No noise could be heard near the small park in the northern, central district of Karakura town in the early morning hours. Even the breeze barely disturbed the quiet.

Then, in the distance the steady, quick thumping of footsteps began to echo through the peace, tugging at it but not shattering the feeling. Any normal person wouldn't have been able to hear even those, let alone the sound of heavy breathing and whispered exclamations that issued from the owner's mouth.

Then he came into view, nearly slipping as he attempted to change direction, a carrot-haired teen rounded a corner and ran into the park, his jacket and soul chain flying behind him.

Ichigo rarely found it difficult to breathe in soul form anymore. When he first came to after he died, he'd had slight issues with that, but the problem had vanished shortly thereafter, except when he pushed himself...and right now he didn't dare stop pushing himself. Even now, he urged his legs to go just a little faster.

He hated having to run like this. Normally he considered running cowardly and weak...but at this point he didn't think he really had any other choice. His lungs burned (it still surprised him how much his spirit seemed to be like his normal body) as he'd been running straight out for almost fifteen minutes, and not a nice jog either. He'd been in a full-out, push-your-body-to-the-limit, long-term sprint, and he could definitely feel it. His feet didn't seem to want to respond, but he wouldn't let himself slow down. He'd rather die. If they caught him, it would be worse than death...

Almost as if on cue, a loud crashing sounded behind him, and more than one park bench was shattered, along with most of the play-ground equipment in the one corner and the quiet of the night. If one couldn't see the teen, then they probably wouldn't be able to see those chasing him, instead seeing only randomly flying objects that seemed to uproot and fling themselves around dangerously.

Again, the teenage muttered a few choice words under his breath and pushed harder, ignoring his protesting body. He took a moment to glance over his shoulder at the large bodies and masked faces that plowed through everything as they chased him, which only fueled his will to keep going. As much as he absolutely loathed to admit it, with this many hollows on his tail, he needed help...badly. That thought had him peering down at the chain that extruded from his chest, and the half-torn hole that still stung worse than his burning lungs.

It hadn't taken him long to realize where the hole was in his chest, and what it bore a striking resemblance to. The chain-links had been torn almost completely off when one of the monsters now behind him had grabbed onto it with it's over-sized teeth. It had hurt too...like someone constantly stabbing his chest with an over-sized tattoo needle, and the pain hadn't receded much. For that instant, he almost couldn't remember anything but blackness and the pain that overtook his spirit-body. Maybe it would fade with time...he hoped so. Either that, or he'd have to gain a higher tolerance to pain.

The spiritual equivalent of adrenalin kept pumping through him, as he reached about the half-way point between the edges of the park, and turned right immediately. He knew exactly where he was headed, seeing as there were only a hand full of people that could even see him right now. He had to get to Ishida Uuryu's house (since Hat-and-Clogs shop wasn't exactly around the corner), or if he was lucky, he'd stumble across the Afro-shinigami wannabe that had been assigned to the town in Rukia's place. At the very least, he had a zanbaktou. If he couldn't, he really wasn't sure he'd survive the night.

As he ran, he wracked his brain for some sort of solution...any sort. He had to buy himself some time, and get rid of these hollows! He couldn't even figure out why had so many come in the first place. As far as he knew, that didn't happen very often.

He turned again, and ran into a clearing in the park, still trying to come up with something else. He was so busy with his thoughts, he almost didn't pay enough attention to his surroundings...or the figures standing in the clearing ahead of him. His eyes flew wide, and he practically skidded to a halt on the well-trimmed grass.

His mind that had been working so hard before suddenly went blank, and he sat there, breathing hard, still poised to race away but realizing that he'd just run out of what few options he'd had. Across from him, just inside the broken circle of manicured trees, stood several more large hollows, all glowering at him through their masks.

"But where--" he started through the heavy breathing, asking himself as he felt his eyes go wide. Even though he stood still, his heart had begun to race even faster (he hadn't thought that possible) as he began to panic. Where had they come from?! He literally screamed in his mind. His body suddenly didn't want to move, even when he heard the hollows that had followed him come crashing through the trees behind him. His mind seemed to freeze again as well as they all approached as one, as if someone were coordinating them all from behind the scenes (which truthfully wasn't all that unlikely, he realized). He knew what would happen next, and as his mind began to work again, he felt his gaze harden. It wasn't like he hadn't been outnumbered before, and there was no way in this universe that he would go down without a fight. Trying to calm his labored breathing, he watched as they continued to close in...and then, they jumped.

Ichigo turned to smack one in the face, pouring all of the spirit and physical energy into the punch that he could (what he wouldn't give to get a zanbaktou back). Lately he'd even been able to punch through hollow masks if he laced his hand with energy that usually formed a sort of make-shift spirit-sword around his fist (he was nowhere near the strength he needed to actually punch through a mask like Chad could). Learning to do so had taken a lot of the weight and responsibility off of Karin, and he knew she appreciated it.

Her face flashed through his mind, along with the rest of his family, giving him the strength he needed to continue to fight, despite the fact that every hollow he took out seemed to be replaced by another. He didn't think about the inevitable, or the fact that he could no longer feel his hands or feet, or the fact that blood was running from his broken knuckles as he rammed his fist into one mask after another. He wouldn't let himself get distracted by such thoughts. That's how he'd survived as long as he had...if this existence could really be considered "living".

He dodged another attack from one of the hollows, and then everything seemed to slow down as he saw the giant hand coming at him...the one he couldn't dodge. He grit his teeth as the large fist that pinned his arms to his sides, and slammed to the ground, sending a shot of pain through his already abused body. Now unable to move his arms and more out of breath than ever, he could only stare up in horror as they all approached, their mouths open...


	2. Trying to Save Him

_Two months earlier_

Rukia didn't just run, she flew...at least it felt like flying. Her whole body seemed to be numb, so she couldn't feel her Gigai's feet pounding against the ground, or the branches that whipped at her cheeks. As she raced along, she tried to keep her mind off of the one thought that kept forcing itself into her head: the fact that she had one hope left. Why hadn't she learned more healing? Now all she could do was rely on something she'd heard of from...well at the moment she didn't quite remember, nor did she particularly care to. She just remembered hearing that a human soul had a strong connection to their body if the soul-chain remained intact, and that if separated, they could often survive what they otherwise couldn't if joined together again.

"Oh please!" she whispered to herself, jumping over some particularly uneven ground and dodging around a few of the extremely well manicured trees. "Don't you leave now, you idiot!" She hissed to the orange-haired, lolling head on her shoulder. She wished she was bigger so she could carry him better, but due to her hight and strength (especially in her gegai) the best option for her had been trying to get him back to his body on her back, awkward as even that was.

She felt the tears come to her eyes as she continued to rush forward, heading towards the building she'd instructed Kon to take Karin and Yuzu after the King Fisher's attack, half to escape from the oncoming rain and half to let the girls recover. She ignored feeling of her Shinigami strength coming back to her. The fact that she could carry Ichigo, let alone run through the forrest at this speed told her that (not a good sign).

She dashed through the woods, her eyes fixed intently ahead of her on the small, house-like building that had just come into view. Quickly, her eyes took in the situation. Kon sat on the porch, looking over at Karin and Yuzu, while Ichigo's father leaned against one of the front structure beams, looking out at the rain. She almost winced, knowing that they'd have a lot of explaining to do to his father, but Ichigo's life was more important at the moment. Once he knew everything, he'd agree.

"KON!" She shouted. Immediately Ichigo's body looked towards her, and his eyes widened in confusion. "KON! OUT! NOW!" Whether from the look on her face combined with Ichigo on her back, or the sight of Ichigo alone, he didn't argue. He reached a hand inside his mouth, and after a little struggling, pulled out the little, green orb. Immediately, the body fell to the ground. Ichigo's father looked nothing short of shocked at that. Then, his face hardened when he saw Rukia come dashing up to them at a fairly unnatural speed (and carrying something he couldn't see on her back).

"No..." he whispered and fell down next to Ichigo's body, checking for a pulse. Rukia stopped in front of them, carefully shifting Ichigo off of her back.

"I'm sorry," she huffed, "but I'll have to explain later!" With that, she pushed Ichigo's spirit into his body, watching it disappear as they melded together.

Both Rukia and Isshin gazed worriedly down at the body. "Come on, Ichigo," Rukia whispered. That seemed to jar his father out of whatever shock he'd gone into, and he shot his hand forward, feeling desperately for a pulse again.

"He's not breathing, and I can't get a heartbeat!" he said. "Call an ambulance!" He didn't even wait for Rukia to reply and started CPR.

Rukia fumbled for her phone, barely catching it and tuned it into the human world's frequency, then called the local hospital as quickly as he fingers could dial.

Then she heard something behind her that froze her blood in her veins. "I—Ichi-nii?" 'No!' she thought. 'They've been through enough today! The last thing they need to see is this!' Yuzu knelt near the wall, looking frightened as she stared in shock over at her father and brother. "Ichi-nii! Daddy, what's wrong?!"

"Yuzu, stay back!" her father commanded between pumping his son's chest.

"--ou have an emergency?" Rukia realized that someone had picked up, and brought herself back to the task at hand, just catching the tail end of someone speaking to her from the phone.

"Yes," she said. "My friend...he's not breathing! We need an ambulance, right away!"

"Very well, tell me the address," the operator said in a soothing voice, obviously trying to calm Rukia down, although the Shinigami thought herself to be rather calm under the circumstances. She'd been far more panicked when Kien...no! She wrenched her mind away from that train of thought, instead nodding(despite the fact that she knew the other couldn't see) at the operator's pause, and gave them the address of the cemetery.

Somehow, she managed to give the woman all the information needed (how many people were there, that no one else was hurt, that someone had already started resuscitation procedure, and that he'd been attacked by someone with a knife as the wounds had already begun to appear on the young man's body. Apparently human souls did that. Shinigami to Gigai didn't), but she seemed to hear the voice on the other end of the phone as if it came to her from the other end of a long tunnel and vaguely realized her own voice sounded a little strange to her too. After a few minutes, the entire world just faded away, leaving Rukia suspended in darkness.

She didn't remember the most of the conversation with the woman, nor did she recall the Ambulance showing up. As soon as they arrived, the whole hillside burst into activity as people hurried over to Ichigo and back to the vehicle before checking everyone else, and then going back to Ichigo. The whole thing, she guessed vaguely inside her shocked mind, would only look organized to someone who had become familiar with this line of work. Somewhere along the line, someone had relieved Mr. Kurosaki from his desperate attempt to keep his son alive, and he stood, looking on with a grim expression.

She simply sat on the porch and watched, holding Yuzu who (despite the fact that she didn't know who Rukia was) had wrapped her arms around the older girl's stomach, and clutched Rukia's dress as she cried. Karin (who had woken up only minutes before the ambulance arrived), on the other hand, knelt stock still, looking on with blank, vague eyes.

"He saved me...he saved me..." she kept whispering.

After what seemed like forever (but probably wasn't more than only a few minutes), they loaded Ichigo into the ambulance. After some minor finagling, Isshin was able to get them to allow Karin and Yuzu to ride with Ichigo in the ambulance (although the condition was only for the front seat) while Rukia and Isshin would follow shortly thereafter in the Kurosaki's car.

"Come on," Mr. Kurosaki said tersely to Rukia and then took off down the hill with the Shinigami on his heels.

They reached the car in what seemed like no time. Rukia ran around to the passenger's side, while Ichigo's father hurried to the right side of the car. He didn't say anything to her until they'd reached the street.

"Have your powers returned?" he asked her suddenly.

Rukia couldn't help but jump and stare at the older-looking man in shock. "Wait, how--?"

"I've known about my son receiving Shinigami powers almost from the beginning, and I know a great deal about the Soul Society. I allowed this to go on for reasons of my own, but take my word when I say I did know, so there is no use hiding anything from me." Rukia couldn't believe her ears. How could a human know anything about the Soul Society and Shinigami? "You lent my son Shinigami powers, did you not?" he turned to look at her with an expression that would make her brother proud. "Through a forbidden technique, if I'm not mistaken."

"Y-yes..." Rukia blinked, her mind screaming at her, and refusing to grasp all of theses shocks that had been thrust at her.

"Have your powers returned?"

Rukia felt her heart sink at that, and closed her eyes, feeling the tears come again. "Yes."

She didn't have to watch him to know that he too had lost any hope he'd previously had. With that, he tossed Kon's little, green pill at Rukia, who caught it deftly. "Take this," he said.

Rukia nodded, trying to hide the tears that had again come to her eyes. How had she grown so attached to this human in such a short amount of time? Was it his resemblance to Kien? No, she may have originally been tainted by that line of thought, but now she knew better. How was this...this _human_ able to suck her into all of these emotions? What would her brother say?

"I—I'm so sorry!" she whispered. She her fingers clutching her dress tighten and tried (rather unsuccessfully) to keep the sobs back. "I had no other choice at the time! It was either--"

"Don't be sorry," she heard Ichigo's father's voice interrupt her softly. "From what I hear, you saved not only my son that night, but Karin and Yuzu as well. If anything, I'm thankful to you." She turned slowly to look at him through her tears, only to see he had his own forming in his eyes. "I will admit, none of this went according to plan..."

"Plan?" Rukia couldn't help but ask it.

Isshin sighed. "Please, don't ever tell anyone in the Soul Society about me, or about this conversation at all. Not your dearest friend, not your Captain, not your older brother, no one." If she'd been shocked before, she nearly went into a coma at that. He knew about her being adopted into the Kuchiki clan? The fact that he knew about the Soul Society could probably be explained away somehow...but a live human knowing specifics...it was unheard of! "I can't tell you who I am," he continued, "or why I know all of this. Just know, that it would be best for you if you could go back to the Soul Society as soon as possible, and just forget any of this ever happened."

Rukia thought about that for a moment. It was the least she could do for the pain she'd caused this family. So, silently, she nodded, and took out her cell-phone.

She dialed the number she'd been so afraid of for the last month and a half, and tried to calm her nerves. Finally someone picked up on the other line.

"This is Kuchiki Rukia," she said softly, "of the 13th devision, requesting and escort back to the Soul Society."

Shocked silence from the other end was all she heard for several seconds, but then a rather nasily voice responded. "Y-yes, of course. We are going to need coordinates, position and a meeting time."

Rukia related the position to be at the hospital half-an-hour after she hung up. They agreed, knowing it would be more than enough time to actually find an escort.

They rode the rest of the way to the hospital in silence. When they got there, they quickly found Yuzu and Karin, and she introduced herself to them as a friend of Ichigo's from school.

No sooner did she do that, then she knew she had to go. Bidding them goodbye, she quietly bowed out, and walked to the nearest bathroom. Taking a breath, she walked over to the sink, and grabbed a paper towel, dabbing it over her eyes. The last thing she wanted to do was show her brother she'd been crying...that she'd been sucked into human emotions again.

Thankfully, the bathroom was empty when the doors to the Soul Society opened behind her, having focused on her position.

Then, she turned and walked with the waiting Shinigami (not really seeing his/her face) to face her punishment, knowing in her heart that it would never be anything close to what she deserved for what she'd done to this family.

xXx

Please, be as harsh as you like. Thank you.


	3. Not Going Anywhere

Thank you guys for the reviews! I love reviews! So please don't stay silent! Let me know what you think, good, bad, or indifferent! PLEASE!

And I'd like to thank my beta reader Sheri-chan

Chapter 2

Karin trudged up the stairs of the clinic slowly, not really noticing anything around her. She knew everything by heart anyway, but today she seemed oblivious to the entire world. Actually, she'd been like that for the last few days...since Ichigo's death. It hurt too much to look at the world, and the last thing she needed to do was show how much pain she felt to her sister and father. They hadn't exactly taken it well either. She'd never seen her father so utterly depressed, even after their mother died (from what she could remember in any case. It wasn't exactly easy to recall events from when you were four years old). She could only figure in some still-functioning corner of her mind that the happy face he'd put on had been a mask back then, to get his mind off of his pain and to be there for his children. Truthfully, she expected him to be back to his old self within the next few days, even if it was a mask.

The funeral had been the day before, and both she and Yuzu had insisted on going back to school as soon as possible. She wasn't so sure it had been a good idea now. Everyone walked on eggshells around her, like she was some sort of porcelain doll about to break.

She hated it...but she would not let them know.

So, she vaguely made her way down the up-stairs hall to her room, the one she normally shared with Yuzu, and shut the door. Yuzu had stayed downstairs, intent on cleaning the entire house before her father got home (her own way of getting her mind off of the situation). That left Karin alone in their room, supposedly to do homework.

In a sort of daze, she reached down to the backpack she'd been dragging on the ground behind her, and went to pull out some of the books. For some reason, though, she froze half-way. She saw her hand stop moving, and wondered why for a moment, before she felt something warm and wet on her cheeks.

"Why?" she choked out, feeling her facial muscles involuntarily tense. "Why, Ichi-nii?!"

Suddenly her backpack wasn't in her hand anymore. Instead, it had flown across the room, and thumped loudly into the wall between her bed and her desk. The loud noise seemed to jar her from the numb stupor, and immediately she looked at the door, hoping that if Yuzu had heard, that she would just ignore it if nothing else happened.

After a few minutes, when her sister didn't come running, Karin sighed and sunk down by her bed, curling her knees up to her chest. Was their family meant to be torn apart little by little like this? Wasn't one sacrifice enough to appease whatever cruel Gods were out there? Why did they have to go through this? Why?!

"Why did you leave us, onii-chan?" she sobbed out. No one would ever see her cry as far as she was concerned, but that didn't mean she couldn't do so when she was alone. "We need you here! Why did you have to go instead of me?" He'd died saving her, so as far as she was concerned, it was her fault. All of it.

She continued to sob into her knees, letting out the anger and frustration that had accumulated over the last several days. It was official: she hated June.

"Why, onii-chan?!" she yelled out as loudly as she dared.That is when everything turned upside down.

"Well, that's what happens when you die," a voice spoke out. Karin's voice caught in her throat as she stopped crying, unable to take in what had just been said to her. "But," the voice continued, "who ever said anything about leaving?"

Without daring to hope, she slowly turned her head to the side to see a pair of legs. They couldn't belong to Yuzu, her legs weren't that big, and there was no way she could have made her voice sound that deep. Slowly, her eyes followed the leg up, and she saw the face of the person sitting on the bed.

Her breath caught in her throat, and for an instant, she wondered if she'd fallen asleep.

Finally, she found some semblance of her voice, and managed to breathe out two words: "Ichi-nii..."

He sat on the bed, with that completely blank face of his before turning to look down at her and sent her the half-smile that he reserved only for his sisters. "Yo."

xXx

Karin didn't know exactly what to feel at this moment, with her father and sister sitting there at the kitchen table staring in shocked disbelief. Nothing in life had prepared her for this. She knew of people who had been through losing a family member only to find that that person had survived. Actually, she'd often wished that that would be their story with her mother for a little while after her death. But Ichigo hadn't survived. She still felt that loss, despite the fact that he quite literally stood right beside her. It felt like some sort of strange mixture of hope and extreme relief mixed with the loss more than ever. There was anger there, and sadness, but happiness at seeing him again, at even hearing him speak. It all just seemed too much for her system to handle at the moment, so she did what she usually did: she stored it all away somewhere in the back of her mind to sort through later. With her normal mask of indifference, she stood in front of the table where her father and sister sat, both with looks of shock, but what kind of shock, she really couldn't tell.

"You mean...he's right here?" Yuzu asked slowly. "That-that presence I felt...that...that is Ichi-nii?"

Karin nodded.

Yuzu stared at her for a few more moments before her face broke into a smile and she rushed forward. "Where is he?!" she asked.

"I don't know if you can touch him," Karin said in a monotone voice. Yuzu stopped, her face suddenly looking so heart-broken that the dark-haired girl couldn't help but crack. "So I'll give him a hug for you." She leaned over to Ichigo and wrapped her arms around the spirit before he could say anything.

He reeled slightly from her touch. "K-Karin?" he asked, knowing quite well that his sister had never been one for physical contact. Of course, he hadn't ever been quite that way himself.

"There," she said in the same tone she'd spoken in before.

Yuzu's face lit up even more. "He really is here! You're not just trying to make us feel better!" With that, she finished her jump, ending in a rather large glomp around her twin's middle.

"Y-Yuzu!" she said, unable to help but reel back a little, trying unsuccessfully to ignore the fact that she sounded far too much like Ichigo had only moments before. Then she heard Yuzu's sobs, and relaxed slightly, letting her arms rest on her sister's back.

At that moment, she couldn't help but notice that her father had yet to say anything. The fact that he now stared at them with a completely out-of-character and blank look didn't escape her notice either, and did nothing to put her unease to rest.

xXx

"Th-they what?" Rukia heard Renji whisper. She didn't care that her own face reflected exactly what he sounded like he felt; she could only stare in utter shock.

"They have decided to drop all charges if you agree to this arrangement," the sixth-squad captain, and her older brother said with an emotionless face. She couldn't believe her luck. Room 46 was not known for being forgiving, but they'd decided to give her 10 years of probation if she changed squads. Apparently, the fifth-squad Captain, Aizen Sousuke, had vouched for her character _before_ her own captain had. He'd commented on how he'd kept an eye on her for a while and had wanted her to join his squad after she'd graduated, but had respected the wishes of her family to join the thirteenth instead.

Now that such a serious charge had been placed against her, he'd told them he could no longer keep quiet and had asked for the council to consider a lighter sentence (amazingly light in her opinion...practically unheard of) in exchange for him watching over her for the duration of the probation, as he did not have a strong emotional connection with her previously, and would thus not "go easy" on her.

She honestly didn't know what to think when her brother had come in with these results. What he'd said in and of itself, whether it had been in her defense or not, had insulted her captain; a man who had always treated her with the utmost respect and patience. But still, at the same time, she couldn't help but appreciate the offer...and wonder where the heck that had come from. She had nothing against the fifth-squad captain, but she'd never really known him. She honestly had had no idea he'd even known her name...or that he'd even cared. As nice as he was, he'd always seemed almost… snobbish to her. Apparently that had just been a face he put on. Hinamori couldn't ever say anything negative about her captain, so Rukia couldn't help but consider that maybe the Kido user been right all along.

So why did something about the entire situation bother her?

"I..." she paused, unsure of how to express her thoughts gracefully. "I would like to discuss this with Captain Ukitake before I make a decision."

"Very well," her brother stuck the note back inside the pocket that had been sewn on the inside of his captain's cloak. "I will make the arrangements."

Renji looked like he was about to faint, and Rukia couldn't say she blamed him much, but to their credit, they both stayed upright until Captain Kuchiki left.

"How lucky can you get?" Renji asked as he plopped down onto the floor in front of the bars to her cell, his knees unable to hold him up any longer.

Rukia couldn't answer, trying yet again to wrap her mind around the entire situation. That, and the fact that she could have sworn that she'd seen a smile tug at her brother's lips before he'd left.

It must have been her imagination, she decided. A hallucination brought on by extreme relief.

Kuchiki Baykuya didn't smile.


	4. Siblings

Kind of a boring chapter, but it's pretty important to the plot. Thanks to all reading! And please review!

xXx

"Nii-chan," Karin mumbled over her shoulder, hoping that none of her fellow classmates could see her lips move and trying to suppress the growing frustration she felt as well as the vein throbbing on her forehead. "Why are you following us...again?" She, Yuzu and Ichigo approached their school on a calm morning only days after Ichigo's spirit had returned. She knew her surroundings well, as she had walked that route every morning since the beginning of school with her sister before they separated to head to their different classes for the day.

Yuzu glanced over at Karin before her face melted into a calm, happy smile. "He's following us because he loves us," she said in a normal voice--all too loud in Karin's opinion. The last thing they needed was for someone to see them talking to thin air. Everyone would probably chalk it up to their brother just dying, but she still didn't want anyone think they'd gone insane or something. If any of the other students heard her talking to Ichigo, it might get back to a teacher or coach. The first thing they'd do would be to try and "relieve her of stress" and she might get kicked off of the team. Really, she couldn't care less about the other kids opinions otherwise.

Ichigo didn't answer her question, even though she knew he'd heard both of them.

"I think it's because he doesn't have anything better to do," she muttered under her breath. Her older brother showed no outward sign he had done so. Sad thing was, she knew him well enough that she didn't need to turn around to know this or to confirm it.

The lighter-haired girl gave her sister a reproachful look. "Karin, you shouldn't say things like that."

"Why not?" Karin retorted. "It's true." At this, a vein in the orange-haired ghost's own head started to throb slightly, although nothing else changed on his stoic face or body.

"Why are you always so cold?" Yuzu asked with a slight whine and looking more than a little troubled.

"Because it's just how I am," the dark-haired girl responded emotionlessly.

Yuzu sighed and paused at the top of the steps. "I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

"If I'm not on the field."

At Karin's response, Yuzu's face suddenly lit up. "You're going to start playing again?" she asked, suddenly excited. "You haven't even touched your soccer ball since Ichi-nii died!" She didn't see Ichigo's slight flinch, instead looking intently and all too hopefully at Karin.

The dark-haired girl shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, it's not like I can mourn with him following us around every second of the day."

Ichigo's countenance darkened. "If you don't want me around, just say so," he growled.

"Fine," Karin turned on him, suddenly not caring who heard her, despite the fact that she still spoke in a fairly dead-pan voice. "I don't want you around, okay?"

Ichigo's face lost all expression as he stared down at his little sister. They stood that way for what seemed like several minutes (although it was really didn't last more than a few seconds), their expressionless faces and firm gazes locked intently; Karin glaring and Ichigo's face becoming less and less expressive with every passing moment. After a few seconds, he turned without a word, and walked away.

Karin shrugged and turned to head back into school when Yuzu drew her attention. "So..." she said with a slight waver in her voice, only vaguely aware that her brother had actually left, "you really don't care that he died?"

The older twin blinked, slightly taken aback. After a few moments, she realized how cruel her words to her brother must have sounded. "No," she said hurriedly. "Of course not! I never wanted him to get hurt or anything to happen to him! Nothing..." she faded off and reached a hand up to the back of her head to scratch it as a thoughtful realization came over her features. "I..." she started again, then noted Yuzu's expression and resisted the urge to smack her forehead in frustration. She hated it when Yuzu cried, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears right then.

"Fine," she groaned and sighed, knowing full well how much trouble she'd probably be in by the end of the day, mostly with her father for chasing off her brother's spirit and skipping class on top of leaving Yuzu alone (he seemed to think she needed protection or something...which probably wasn't far from true). Then, before she could change her mind, she turned and dashed down the stairs, leaving a rather startled Yuzu behind her as she called out for Ichigo to stop. He didn't.

She growled in frustration and started muttering under her breath about the male population in general. In the back of her mind, she did realize that the taller boy didn't speed up either and eventually came to the conscious conclusion that either he was about to give her the silent treatment, or he actually wanted her to catch up.

"Ichi-nii, wait!" she huffed when she finally caught up with him. This time he actually stopped, but didn't look down at his sister, instead studying their surroundings non-chalantly. Karin had to suppress a sigh, and for a moment, she almost turned back to the school. She hated apologizing.

Finally, she opened her mouth. "Nii-chan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

He didn't so much as acknowledge her. _So, it's going to be the silent treatment,_ Karin thought to herself feeling her fists clench up slightly but forced herself to continue. "It's just that..." she faltered, not really knowing what to say. "It's just that...it gets so annoying to have someone following you around all day. You don't have to be protective!"

"Yes I do," he responded finally, still not looking at her. "I'm the older brother. It's my job."

Okay, maybe not the silent treatment...but she knew he only spoke because he had something up his sleeve. He always did.

"We can take care of ourselves, you know," she said haughtily. Really, did he have to be like this?

"I'm not going to let a Hollow get to you again," his stern voice stopped her in her tracks. "I'm not going to let anyone else die." Whether they'd meant to or not, those words struck right at the younger girl's core. A dam seemed to break inside of Karin, and suddenly she felt so horribly ashamed of herself and her actions recently that she wished she could just melt into the sidewalk.

Then, she found her mind racing a thousand different directions, unable to do much of anything with coherent thought. Vaguely, she realized in the back of her mind how unlike her this was. She wasn't one for feelings or talking from the heart. She'd always believed in cold, hard logic, which was why she never acknowledged any ghosts before Ichigo. Now that she had basically given all of that up, she realized how helpless she felt.

"What was it like?" she found herself asking, not really knowing where that had come from.

Ichigo finally turned to face her, his soul chain swinging softly from his chest. "What's what like?"

"What's it like to die?"

She didn't look up, so she didn't see his eyes widen at the question, obviously surprised. Then, a more thoughtful and sad look settled over him.

"It hurt...a lot," he said. "Then, it didn't."

Karin felt tears come to her eyes, but fought them back with some success. Still, she found herself opening her mouth to ask yet another question. "D-do you think that's how mom felt?"

The orange-haired teen didn't respond for several seconds, and when he did, his voice drifted around her in an unusually soft tone. "No," he said. "I don't think she felt much pain."

"She didn't want to die, did she onii-chan?" Karin looked up, her eyes begging for an answer still vaguely wondering where all of this was coming from in the back of her mind. At least she'd been able to stave off those stupid tears.

Ichigo looked down at his sister and smiled slightly. "No."

"Did you?" she asked. He found himself slightly taken aback by that.

"No." He didn't know exactly what to expect from her with that answer, however as he watched her look down again, and saw her fists clench he realized he hadn't thought it would make her more upset.

"D-do you hate me, nii-chan?" Again he found himself more than a little surprised.

He scratched his head. "Hate you?"

"Do you hate me because I...because..."

Suddenly, they both stopped, knowing very well the spiritual change that had come over them. A dark feeling, like ink poured into water, began to permeate the air around them, tainting any spiritual energy within the area.

"Hollow," Ichigo breathed. Karin's eyes widened in fear as she turned to see her worst thoughts confirmed as her older brother's back move away from her and down the street. Had he always been able to run that fast?

As she watched him run away, she felt her chest constrict. He was running towards something that had killed him! He might die...again! And then what? What would they do? How could they lose him like that a second time?!

"Ichi-nii," she said, her voice coming out as barely a whisper. "Ichi—No..." she said a little louder, trying desperately to yell. What was he doing, going off and leaving her like that? How could he? What did he think he could do against those monsters? She had to stop him...she had to! Just as that thought crossed her mind, he turned a corner and disappeared from view. With just that, the world around her shattered and whatever spell she'd seemed to have been under broke. "Ichigo!" She screamed, suddenly finding her voice, not caring that she'd broken the cardinal rule of respecting your elders by calling him by name.

With that, her feet took off, and she started running full out, desperation sending adrenaline pumping through her body. "Ichi-nii! No! Don't go! ONII-CHAN!"

Ichigo was already too far away and far too focused to hear her.


	5. Important Please Read

Important Update:

Alright, for those of you reading my stories (THANK YOU SO MUCH, BTW) I believe you deserve an explanation as to why things have been going so long without updates.

First, I got a new job that works the living daylights out of people. I'm not complaining except that I wasn't able to write for as often as I would have liked.

Second, my computer died. Kind of difficult to work on stories when for the last few months, I've kind of been mooching off of my roomate's computer, and had little access to my stories. However, I was able to save them (which is a good thing, seeing as I probably wouldn't have been able to motivate myself to rewrite anything) so I have several more chapters on just about all of my stories.

Thirdly, I have had a wedding, and some very serious health problems with a very close family member, so any extra time has been taken up by that recently.

And last, I honestly didn't know if anyone (including my beta readers) were still reading this. So...I'm going to be posting some chapters up, but they will not be beta read, just so I can save some time. If my beta readers still WANT to be my beta readers, please reply to this. I'd really appreciate it, seeing as my e-mail account is rather full and I won't be able to find anyone's address. sigh

So, thank you for all of your patience. I WILL be updating soon.

Sincerely,

Anne Camp


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